Bio: I am an adult male recently diagnosed with bipolar II. My symptoms happen to include hypomania with dysphoria (rather than euphoria) which I have come to learn is one of the most dangerous cocktails. This journal will cover various details of life with this particular blend of this illness and the trials of adapting, evolving and overcoming at this middle stage in my life. In looking back on my life it is a wonder I made it through my teens and twenties with substance and alcohol abuse, irrational and dangerous behaviour, including occasionally irresponsible sexual tendencies, not to mention suicidal ideation. Many of these things will be discussed freely here and it is not my intention to offend, shock or disturb anyone. Should you find these things unsettling or offensive please stop reading at once and understand that I have problems enough without people getting upset and intrusive about the outline of my lifes details. Live and let live. If these things are within your ability to process and you have a curiosity regarding this illness and the behaviours associated with it please feel free to read on. If you are doing so for personal reasons as your own mental health or the mental health of someone you love is a concern I urge you to seek counselling from a mental health professional. If you are here for reasons of understanding, intellectual curiosity, inclusion and compassion. Thank-you. It is a really kind and big thing that you are doing by reading about this illness and giving your consideration, especially given that some of the symptoms include being socially irresponsible and acting like a total fucking asshole (in the wake of which makes excellent self loathing episodes during bouts of depression). This is an ugly illness.